Gimme a P, Gimme an A

I just found out my PA came in on 4/17 but was put into the system today.  It feels like one hurdle has been crossed but now comes the big wait for LOA.  I keep hoping it will come fast but am trying to prepare myself that it could be post Olympics.  In the meantime I will be busy this weekend putting together a care package to send.  Here's hoping for a little "elfin magic".  Don't you just love those ears?

Is it me?

A few weeks ago I was struggling with cold weather and all the bare trees around me.  My workplace is huge; the size of a college campus with lots of trees, geese and grass.  A colleague of mine who retired last year said when he joined the ranks in the 70's it was not for academia or even a prestigious salary or title but purely to admire the foliage on the grounds.  He described a very different approach to healthcare back then and always used the setting where he worked to his advantage by taking patients on walks, having outdoor groups, etc.  A few weeks ago there wasn't a flower to be found and yet overnight our drab campus has sprung to life.  I don't remember the trees being this lush or perhaps everything just looks a little sweeter to me now.

A Woman and a Mother?

Back when I posted about my referral I made a reference to signs.  I am usually not one to put a lot of faith in that sort of thing but I had a very strange feeling a few days ago and couldn't figure it out and when I finally realized it I got the chills.  In a Jewish child's life their Bar or Bat Mitzvah signifies their transition into adulthood.  I was raised in a very reform household but my mother really wanted me to have a Jewish upbringing that included all the significant life events and celebrations.  For a variety of reasons that aren't appropriate to address here it was postponed and as a result mine was a little later than what is typical by a little less than a year.  It was held on Purim which was considered an honor.  It is not typical for a woman to hold a Torah but because of the significance of the double celebration I was asked to not only hold it but carry it through the sanctuary to signify becoming a Jewish woman.  My Bat Mitzvah was March 18th, 1984.  My LOI was sent to China on March 18th.  Enough said.

Catching Up

So I realize it's been a while since I posted and figured I better in order to stop those harassing emails. So I am befuddled at the notion of this hit counter and think it's bogus. Do you see what I see? Someone explain this to me please. So it's been 4 weeks and 3 days since my LOI was submitted but who's counting. Since my last post I have learned a bit about peanut and have received new pictures as well as her finding ad. The photos were truly a gift. I saw a photo that I knew HAD to be her on A Child's Right and emailed the US office. By the next morning Eric (what a nice guy) sent me an email with a brief note and 9 photos. He thought she was quite unforgettable, as do I. I may not be able to post her name and photo publicly but look at the second page of China projects and look for the most beautiful child and that's her. Am I a little bias, OH YEA. All the children are beautiful so have a gander anyway. I also learned that peanut has moved again. I feel so bad she has had so much movement in her little life but glad she and her best buddy (a little boy) are still together. I am hoping for another update soon as well as PA. Oh let's just skip PA... I'll take LOA for $100 Alex.

So about her finding ad.  It's black and white and she was less than 5 weeks old at the time.  It is likely the earliest photo of her and she looks just precious considering the circumstances.  Per the translation it says she was healthy and chubby which is quite evident by her her multiple chins.  She fits right in !!!!!!!  I can't explain how I feel about the whole process other than I feel very detached emotionally.  I think it's only natural given the nature of the process and waiting on that illustrious approval.  What I can say is that my agency has been great, okay let me change that to my new coordinator is GREAT and makes me feel so uplifted when I am feeling down.  I am hoping to have good news soon.  I am still hopeful to travel before the Olympics since I had a 2006 LID and passed the review room last year.  Please think good thoughts for us both.

On a totally unrelated note, I had to get a new car and I am the proud owner of my first Honda. I had always wanted a little SUV but reality is I need a safe car that is good on gas.  I found that in my little Honda and the payments are affordable.  It's a tough time financially in light of the accident but was necessary.  So peanut will have comfortable wheels and safe ones above all to travel in when she comes home.

A New Day

Well it's a new day and a new car. I wish I could be excited about it but I'm not. Hopefully the worst is behind me and I can concentrate on worrying about my little peanut. Yesterday I received her finding ad. Oh my, she was quite the chubster and it says so in black and white. She will fit right in! It's nice to have this piece of her history and I hope her robust condition at birth suggests her birth mother cared enough about herself and her unborn child to ensure adequate nutrition and care. While I will never know the answers to these questions, I can offer what I do know; that she was a healthy and chubby baby. Waiting is hard in the WC program and so much different than I expected but one day at a time.

RIP Nissan

Well it's official, my car has been totaled. I think we all think at one point, gee I'd love a new car and I've been among them. However this is not the way I wanted one. I am glad I am relatively okay but sad to say good-bye to the trusted car which has taken me on many journeys and always brought me home safe. I will say that while I wouldn't wish an accident on anyone, dealing with the insurance company has been a pleasant experience. They are courteous, empathetic and efficient PLUS they have that cute little "character" on TV. So farewell my silver friend, it's been one helluva ride.

6,803

I am totally blown away that 6,803 visits have been made to my blog since bringing it back to life. I actually only added the counter less than 2 weeks ago just because. WOW!!!!! I am rarely speechless but WOW. It's been a tough few days here as I mentioned in my prior post. Monday en route from job#1 to job#2 I was in a bad car accident. While the accident was not my fault per se I was the one who hit the other car. I can't tell you what a terrible feeling that is. I am grateful that the other party was not hurt and was able to drive home. I spent the night in the ER but I am relatively okay. I have the typical bruising and soreness that comes from an impact. I am waiting to hear if my car is totaled or repairable. I suspect given its age, it may bot be deemed worthy of repair and that makes me kind of sad. I love my car for it has taken me on many journeys and brought me home safe. Despite the level of "injury" it received I can't help but feel fortunate that I was able to walk away. Every fiber of my body aches but I am bored being home nonetheless and too much time to "think" is never a good thing. Add some financial/car worry to the existing life worry and LOI worry and you have one nervous nelly on your hands. Thankfully I have never been in a real accident before and hope this was a one time rare exception. Everyone who helped (the other car, the police officer, the ER, the insurance company, etc) has been so great that it has made it a little easier. To those of you who have emailed or called to check on me, thank you from the bottom of my (bruised) heart. Did I mention 6.803 hits?

In an Instant

One minute the birds are singing, spring is in the air and the next you're sitting on the side of the road watching the antifreeze and oil drain out of your car, as it smokes and sheds its glass,metal and fiberglass all over the road. I've never really been in an accident until last night. My poor car is a wreck, not drivable and well a wreck. I don't even know if it can be fixed. I watched them tow my baby with his insides trailing down the road. Yes I am one of those strange people who names her cars. So three cars; one BITCH who was the cause; the one who never stopped. My airbag never deployed which is probably better but it is SUPPOSED to deploy. I need to call the manufacturer for sure. So after 6 hours in the ER (reduced since I work there), one badly bruised chest, sprained back with a little blood in the urine for good measure I filled my happy pills and came home to do the percoset shuffle. The first thing I thought was "thank god there was no child in the car". I am lucky, it could have been worse though the notion of expenses related to this now when I need every cent is hard to fathom. I have friends, I have family....I am one lucky girl. Some have recently heard me (hello SAC) comment that the value of my job had recently increased with the acceptance of referral. Well make that a double after last night. Most call their loved ones when they are in an accident, I called my boss to see if he could "call ahead" and let the ER know I was en route. After all he is a big shot. That was around 6pm so he may have left for the day. At 8pm who do I see frantically looking for me in the ER but the aforementioned boss. He walked over (like 5 blocks), he was worried, he was looking for me and wanted to try and get me seen faster. He told me to stay home today and rest (he never takes sick time...he's one of THOSE) I really am a lucky girl in so many ways. Now hopefully "Alvin" will be as lucky as me.

A Girl and Her Sign

I learned that peanut and I share the same zodiac sign.  We were both born in the year of the dog.  Is this another sign; perhaps so but it's another similarity for us to share.  We will have enough differences that anything that joins us is worth celebrating and honoring.  I wonder if Lisa knew something I didn't. One of my first and favorite secret pal gifts was a sterling silver character pendant which signifies "the year of the dog".  I wear it often and immediately its value has doubled.

1922,  1934,   1946,  1958,  1970,  1982,  1994,  2006

THE YEAR OF THE DOG

People born in the year of the dog possess the best traits of human nature.  They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest and inspire other people's confidence because they  know how to keep secrets.  But dog people are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn and eccentric.  They care little about wealthy yet always seem to have money.  They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties.  They can find fault with many things and are  noted for their sharp tongues.  Dog people make god leaders.  They are compatible with those born in the years of the Horse, Tiger and Rabbit.

The Pink Giraffe

****UPDATE 

I have very few baby pictures of myself and with four exceptions the ones I do were my grandmother's "seconds".  I had this odd feeling tonight and looked and I found a picture of me in my crib at approximately three months with the aforementioned giraffe.  I found others not as clear.  Apparently "he" traveled with me.  Is this another kooky sign?

I went to a big  baby store to look around and really wanted to just buy a little something to solidify my decision.  This is what I came up with.  It's really soft and just the right size for a toddler.  I started sleeping with it and will send in a care package after I get PA.  It was a little bittersweet when I called mom to tell her.  She told me I had a similar giraffe in my crib when I was a baby and apparently was a favorite companion of mine.

So on another note, the experience so far has been great. People have been incredibly supportive and I have even had the chance to correspond with a fellow AP from my agency who did her LOI at the same time as me for a beautiful little girl the same age.  This is especially nice since I only really connected with a few people from my agency as most live closer to there than here.

I am still playing the name game and hope to make a decision once I see an updated photo.  I can't imagine what she looks like now.  Think good thoughts!