China Dolls

Yesterday and today people received their referrals if they were logged in for April 2005. The amazing thing about these babies is that many were only 6 months old, which is unheard of. They say for every orphanage they do adoptions with, there are 50 they don't. I think they are trying to bring adoption to these other facilities one at a time. The result is VERY YOUNG babies; all of whom were precious. I enjoy following the journey people are taking and hopefully it will prepare me better when my time comes. I've been thinking about the strong female role models I have been lucky enough to have over the years. I consider my own mother among them but also my friend Dawn who is an amazing mommy , a former colleague who has a non-traditional family (but a great one) and my former boss Jeanne who is a single parent (and powerhouse). If I really think about it, there are so many who have given me a little knowledge that has helped me make this ultimate decision. I have also thought of the two friends I lost these past few years. Eileen was a good mother but never really had the chance to parent her son in the manner which she wanted. She died knowing he was happy and safe but he may very well never know how much she loved him and sacrificed for him. My dear friend Shannon died three years ago today in his sleep. I still miss him and think of him often. He was my Will and I was his Grace and he loved children so much. He had dreams of becoming a foster parent but he never got to fulfill that dream and left many shattered lived behind at the age of 41. I am always aware of his presence around me and hopefully he will be with me in spirit during this journey. I am nearing the last part of my paper chase and hope to have all my documents notarized in the next week or so. Once that's done I just wait for my various clearances. Til next time.....

Paper, Paper and More Paper

Last week I went to One Police Plaza to apply for a certificate of good conduct. It takes 2 weeks but is only good for 60 days. I am hoping I am DTC before it expires since it's a annoying trip to have to make. (2 trips each time). My end of the paperwork is done for now. Next week I will file my I-600A which is an application to CIS for advanced petition of an orphan. I get to pay CIS $700 for them to fingerprint me and mail me a piece of paper. Lucky Me! These fingerprints (third set so far) will be my FBI prints. Once they are cleared the social worker can complete my home study and then I need to have all my documents certified by the Secretary of State and then authenticated by the Chinese Embassy in NYC. I hope to be DTC by late January. Ideally I'd love to be making the trip before the end of 2006 but there have been some recent extentions to the time people are waiting. Since the Chinese year runs from 12/1 - 11/30 it may just be end of year delays and will speed back up. This past Saturday I had my annual holiday gathering and it was nice that my friends started telling each other how they met me. It was pretty cool remembering some of these stories that stem from 5-17 years ago. I am a lucky girl to have such amazing friends who support me in this endeavor. We all had a good laugh at my Big Bird in China DVD and Chinese New Year Barbie. What can I say? I have been pondering how and when you tell people about plans to adopt? Being single has some drawbacks because I am not becoming a spinster; at least not yet. At what stage of meeting or dating do you tell the person, "by the way I am adopting a baby and her eyes are going to slant". In some ways I feel guilty for keeping it a secret and then of course the other part of me feels it's personal enough that it's on a need to know basis. It's not just an issue of someone being open-minded but also okay with the racial differences. Of course, anyone who wouldn't be 1000% supportive of me, isn't worth my time. I spent Sunday with some fellow single adoptive parents and their 3 daughters who were amazing. We were so busy eating and noshing we never got to discuss these issues. I guess we can put in on the next gathering's agenda. I think it's one of those issues where I will play it by ear. I had decided not to tell my boss since it's not happening tomorrow. I figure as if I were pregnant, I will give him 3-4 months notice. I plan to take FMLA leave for as long as possible. However since I really can't afford to not get paid for long I will most likely try and save the bulk of my vacation time for this purpose. I guess this is the update for now. Not too much to report these days but keeping abreast of my reading and continued research. Til next time....