Saturday, April 26, 2008

Lost and Found

**MP is man-person otherwise known as the special man in my life.

Today was one of those days which will stick with me for a while.  MP and I did a bit of a switch today as I drove up to him and we spent a day in the "country".  He took me to a restaurant he fancied as a child and visited as an adult.  This sparked conversations about family and childhood memories which I've always felt had major gaps.  Tonight as we shared tales I remembered so much more than I could recall previously and all of it good.  He took me through the Rockland Bakery to watch the bread come off the belts as he told me how his job was to catch the rolls for the paper bag that would accompany him home for dinner.  Thoughts of Uncle Wiggly will surely permeate my dreams tonight but one thing that as I grow I realize is that just because someone didn't (or doesn't) love with all you want, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they had (have).  When I think about how I was raised and the associated feelings and struggles, this is very poignant.  It is these exact memories; almost all positive that I hope to use as a basis for being a good parent.  While I believe both of my parents had flaws in them just as I have in me, they both loved me with 100% of their capabilities and for that I can't help but love them back, maybe just a little more tonight.  In the big picture, if I can be 1/2 of what they were individually my daughter will be pretty lucky.  Of course we're aiming for 100% here but I live in the real world and nothing is every 100% except your tax bill.  I am sure like them I will mistakes but I sure have had good role models in my life who I hope to emulate.  
"Good night, sweetheart, with sweet dreams on fairy wings and I'll be here to kiss you in the morning"  (my mom)


kris said...

Glad you had some quality time with your dad (is MP your dad??)... I am assuming!

Love how your mom said goodnight to you... how special is that?

Michele said...

Beautiful post. I believe we all learn a lot about the good and bad of parenting from what our parents did or didn't do and how it affected us. You will be a great Momma and she is going to have a terrific life with you.

"M" said...

Great post. Love how your mom sent you off to bed. Isn't it great to have the kinds of conversations you had with MP?

Mamacita said...

Sounds like a lovely day/weekend.

I really grew to appreciate my mom more after I became a mom. And I realized while looking at my daughter with my heart overflowing with love, that my mom looked at me that same exact way.

Very powerful.