A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

A toast to a few of the best gal pals a girl can have. It's only fitting that this beautiful frame sent to me by someone very special two years ago hold the photo it contains. I raise my glass to each of you. I love you all.

The Divine Miss Em

Look what I got this morning from China. Someone must really like me. The one with the pigtails and the balloon is the most recent; the others probably from September 2007 until April 2008.

Asshat Love

It would be an arduous task to explain the love of an asshat but I will try. Beverly once asked me, "what is an asshat?" and I chuckled at the notion of explaining it. In spring 2006, I received an email from a woman via APC named Nicole who was starting the adoption process. We immediately bonded though we live 7 hours away. When she and her husband came to NYC, we got together for dinner and it flew from there. There have been weeks where we speak daily which included her trip to Vietnam to bring her gorgeous son home. When she took her students to New Orleans for Katrina rebuilding she invited me to join her and we spent a week sleeping side by side making a difference and dreaming out loud about the day when we'd become parents. When she brought her son home, I flew up and had a great weekend with the entire family. She is the closest thing to a sister I've ever had and I love her dearly. Next came Lisa, my secret pal who would be accidentally revealed shortly into the process. For 18 months, she sent me the most beautiful gifts every month and even though I knew the limit was supposed to be $10, I can't imagine that she ever followed the rules. Then again, smart women usually don't. Our friendship grew with each email and though we came from very different walks of life, the bond developed. It was only right before the exchange ended that I revealed to her that I had known all along but didn't want to ruin it for her. She has taught me about what it means to be brave and have courage more than most people I know. There is something amazingly special about her that you don't know at first glance (or email) but it's there. She is beautiful inside and out. I spent this past weekend at her home where she hosted several families, their children and coordinated a "field trip" with several others. A true lady, a great hostess and someone I am proud to call friend. Last but not least comes Michele who I also met through our mutual DTC group. She introduced me to the 6 degrees of separation of a secret pal. Lisa bought for me, Michele bought for Lisa and when I confided in Michele that I wanted to "anonymously" give a little back to Lisa for all her generosity she arranged for me to be HER secret pal December of 2006. She and her husband have a beautiful little boy from Vietnam who has a twinkle in his eye he gets from his momma. She is uber-organized and looks like she's been a mother forever. She makes it look doable and even easy at times. We spent time last year together while I was on a business trip and spent this past weekend together. She is a great person and a wonderful friend to many. While I don't get to talk to her that often (she's super-mom remember?) she is a great person who I am honored to have in my life. In 2006 a yahoo group came together of women who were not quite what you'd call conventional. The original group fell apart but we followed each other out the door to a place we affectionately call "the lounge". It's one of those by invitation only places and is filled with some great women. After a certain number of posts, you achieve what is affectionately known as "asshat" status. It's a sorority of sorts filled with common thread (even a few red ones) and the joys and sorrows that come with growing as a group. We've shared in each other's happiness and struggles and while there are several women I am proud to call friend, these three (okay Kris too) stick out. They defy the rules, they believe in fair play and look out for one another. Tonight I came home to a big box from Pottery Barn Kids only to learn that these much loved women together purchased ALL of Emme's bedding. Sometimes it's tough being the single gal in a world of married couples but they never make me feel uncomfortable, inferior or alone. The same three who collectively live 20 hours away are all coming here this weekend to celebrate Emme at my non-surprise shower. Words alone cannot thank them enough for their love and their friendship, which is the greatest gift of all.

Brother can you spare a link?

I realize in the bloggy world I'm not one of the "hittest" chicks in town but have a few readers according to my obviously confused hit counter. If you are one of those people who stops by would you consider linking my post about the blog makeover raffle so maybe Danielle and I can share more than a cup of Starbucks? Like I said before, it sucks doing this in some ways. If you ever want to feel inadequate try international adoption. I'm not poor, have more than the average person but it all adds up. I THOUGHT getting Emme in Beijing was eliminating the trip to CQ but it's not. I am fine with that, it's just another place I'll get to see BUT I still have to pay for her to be transported to me and have representation from CQ. So another expense but worth it. By doing it this way my girl does NOT have to return to the SWI (long trip), readjust only to have to make another 6-8 ride by van to CQ. I'll probably have to go back to work a week earlier to swing this but isn't her emotional (and physical) well-being worth at least that much? So if you like, link me up :-)

The Best Present

I am meeting Emme on Friday, June 20th which happens to be my 38th birthday. When I got her referral I kept saying what a wonderful gift it would be to travel in June. Who would have thought. The signs and connections just keep coming. We will surely be having a BIG celebration on that day for years to come.

Simply Asstastic

The Decision

I am confirmed to leave on June 18th for Beijing. My flights are direct which is great and the flight is less than half filled so far so the chance of extra room is likely. I am booked, tickets are issued so the countdown officially begins. I had initially requested that Emme not be returned to the SWI. There was just no point for her to make that HUGE trip, have a triple trauma (traveling back, going from SWI to provincial capital and then me). In addition while not nearly as substantial as other areas, Chongqing was somewhat affected by the earthquake and subsequent aftershocks. Why take that added risk? I don't have a real need to see the place where she is now and because she is happy there I feel better knowing she will never have the memory of me "taking her" from there. I know it's a good place and I know she has been very well cared for. I wanted to see her SWI and the area where she is from but not at her emotional expense or risk to her safety. She hasn't lived there in 10 months so it's probably not that fresh in her memory. In response to my request I was given several options as I mentioned and after careful consideration I have decided her adoption will be done in Beijing. Her center will bring her there (still several hour trip) and I will cover the expense for the representative to travel from her provincial capital to Beijing. The cost is equal to that if I had to fly to her province for her adoption. So it basically looks like I will be in Beijing for the 5 days usually required in the child's province. Since I am meeting up with my travel group of 12 families, I will likely be in Beijing 7 days before moving to Guangzhou. I think this will work out well and I will be able to take her around the capital of her birth country. I hope someday to return and at that time we can plan to travel to her place of birth.

Oh the Drama

So my travel dates were confirmed today. I get the invoice from the travel agent and it's HIGH in terms of the baby's seat coming home. Much more than I expected. I decided to look it up myself but had to leave to meet with the IA pediatrician for my "travel prep". So I grab the email I had received just prior and left. I read it post appointment and had to take a few deep breaths. Here are my options: 1) Get Emme in the capital of her province. Bear in mind it's a 12 hour trip and she didn't do too well the first time. It's closer to the devastation of the earthquake and she will be sad to leave all her friends at the center. 2) I can pick her up in Beijing and pay the expenses for both the representative from her province AND her center to travel. 3) I can pick her up at her center (plane and train for me) and pay the travel costs for the representative from her province. Everything points to choice #3 if it's not outrageous. I don't want her to be traumatized twice or either of us travel near the earthquake devastation. I have also proposed to my agency that if choice #1 works that I would like to volunteer at the center for a few days while getting to know her so it's less traumatic for her and I get to do something good for the children. Since everyone else in my travel group will be getting their own children elsewhere it wouldn't be any additional time. In the end it's costing me more anyway so what's a little more in her best interest. Thoughts?

Skip to My (Emmy) Lou My Darling

So MP (man person) refers to my Emme Li as EmmyLou. It's his pet name for her because when I told him her name he looked confused. Today I received a packet from my wonderful agency containing all of her original referral documents from China including a note I had not previously seen. It says, "....she can skip and hop and have simple conversation". I think hopping is a sign of brilliance. That's my girl!!!!! This is not a new photo but one of my favorites. It brings me much joy to se her smile with one of her favorite caregivers.

Visa, not Mastercard

I got an email from the lovely woman who acted as the courier for my visa to enter China and it along with my passport is en route back home to me. Apparently only the Chicago office is willing to work with APs who don't have confirmed travel plans yet so my agency recommended her to me. I was very pleased with the level of professional service and would recommend to others. So when you're in a bind, just remember, There's Always Hope.