DTC or HIP HOP HOORAY!

Well It's official, I am DTC or Dossier to China today. What this means is that five months of grueling paper work is over and my complete dossier (all the documents I had to prepate to prove I am fit to parent a child) was reviewed by my agency and was sent via courier this morning to China. It will be sent to the China Center on Adoption Affairs for processing and in a few weeks I will be informed of my LID or log in date. China handles everything in chronological order and at present it was a 10-12 month wait for referral. I anticipate traveling to China this time or a little later next year to bring my daughter home. To celebrate this day I had my annual physical at work and got my first Hepatitis B injection. I will have two more of these shots and a bunch of others before travel. I bought these two books tonight in the mall and just couldn't resist because they were so sweet. "Petunia" has quite a little library of books and since ladybugs are significant to Chinese adoptions I figured why not? I will continue to keep writing my thoughts as the process continues and welcome feedback. Til next time. Love, Lisa

To Hell and Back

It's been a tough week but I will bring you up to speed albeit briefly for tonight. First there was a snafu in my courier who held my documents an extra day for nothing. It was no major deal but cost me anxiety and an extra $40 which was easily resolved. The guy was nice enough so no major complaints. Truthfully, I have been quite pleased with their service and would recommend them to others. I used them to walk my documents through the Secretary of State and Chinese Embassy in two batches and in each group one document needed to be certified by the county clerk. They are professional and respond pretty quick to any questions or concerns. I will use them for my visa when it's time to travel. So I have been using UPS for all my overnighting needs such as my agency and the courier. They are by far fabulous with a capital F. Well on the return back to me they mis-routed my documents (171-H and Home Study) and they ended up in the wrong hub out east. Okay no major deal, it would be here Monday instead of Saturday. WRONG! They were lost as of last night but I must say despite the fact that operations closes for deliveries at 7pm, workers were calling me until 10pm looking for my documents once they knew the importance of them. A supervisor located them early this morning and personally drove them to my house from Suffolk County and then wouldn't even take a tip to buy himself breakfast on me. I plan to write a mighty nice letter to UPS operations to commend them on taking such a personal approach on such a personal issue to me; just one of a gazillion customers. The moral of the story is my dossier is off to my agency and will arrive there by morning. My fabulous China Coordinator will review its contents for accuracy and if all is a go, I will be DTC on Friday 3/31. WOO HOO! However due to a camera snafu I have to redo my dossier photos tomorrow and overnight them to the agency Thursday so they have them Friday morning. Y that time my dossier will have been reviewed and we should be all set. CHINA HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faces of Hope - Video Clip

Adoption1 Video sent by ludo

WOW! Spend a few minutes watching this and you will have a complete understanding of how I came to the decision to adopt from China. The worst part for me is knowing that my child's birth mother has no say in the decision to abandon her child. I believe that will haunt me for a long time but it is also something I will probably be forever grateful for as well. The best thing I can do is honor my daughter's birth country and allow her to be whoever it is she is meant to be. Please let me know what you think.

GOT RICE?

How cute is this? "Petunia" as she is often referred to around her already has "Sushi Lover" and I am waiting for "Bagels-n-Lox". At this rate, she is going to have a full closet before I turn around. Actually I really haven't bought too much, just hats and books. I just thought this was so cute that I had to post. These theme outfits are made by Best of Chums. (www.bestofchums.com)

OT - Things Only A Mother Could Love

I decided to make a list of things about myself only my mother could truly love or at least not kill me for. 1. I am stubborn 2. Without fail, I leave a trail of hair behind in the shower 3. Procrastinate, Procrastinate, Procrastinate 4. I'd rather go to the gynecologist than do dishes 5. I hate taking out the garbage 6. I lose receipts 7. I like to have some level of control. 8. Did I mention stubborn? 9. I don't make shopping lists, hence 5 jars of BBQ sauce at any given time. 10. I save way too much "stuff"

THE CHASE IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOO HOO! My 171-H arrived in the mail today. This is the US Department of Immigration telling me I have met their requirements to bring an orphan into the US. I will have this document certified and authenticated this week and I am hoping to be en route to China by next Friday. (at least my paper work that is). This is a HUGE milestone and I feel like it's all finally real. I'll keep you updated. I guess I better go clean and take those damn dossier photos, eh?

My New Blog

I decided to try blogspot. I have been using another site which I pay for and it really was limited in its features. I've been following several people's blogs on here and it seemed so easy to use and upload photos and such from China that it seemed silly not to try. Well guess what? It's not so easy for someone like me with minimal skills but I am learning a little more each day. My other site has a guestbook but there are no spaces for people to leave comments on posts and I really want it to be a place for communication, especially when I am in China and wanting to share how the trip is going and get feedback. It will probably take some time until I get the hang of this new site so bear with me and feel free to leave comments.

Red Egg and Ginger Party

What do a name and an egg have to do with each other? If you're in China you might be invited to a Red Egg and Ginger, baby-naming party - a celebration held after the baby's first month of life. Since infant mortality is relatively high, it is felt if the child survives the first month of life, he will be okay. The egg, considered a delicacy in ancient China, represents fertility and is dyed the color of red for good luck. At the ceremonial feast, the baby's head is shaved and gifts are presented to the new life. The girls head is shaved before the image of "Mother", the Goddess of Children, and the boy head is shaved before the ancestral table. The symbolism of this practice is not entirely known, but it is speculated that this is the removing of the birth hair, to mark the point of the child's independent existence. Today, many Asian grandparents believe that shaving the girls' head at birth is a way to encourage the growth of long, lustrous hair although this practice isn't usually done during Asian American celebrations today. Guests attending red egg and ginger parties can bring gifts of clothing or "lucky money" in red envelopes. Lysee or "lucky money" in red envelopes is often given to baby boys, while girls may receive jewelry by close relatives. Guests receive red-dyed eggs and ginger at the party. Additionally, instead of sending thank you cards to the guests, more traditional parents may send thank you gifts consisting of small round biscuits with pork in them. More modern Chinese families use brightly colored eggs as party favors at their adapted ceremonies. Superstitious as they are, the Chinese wouldn't dare name a child before he is born! Instead they will give him a fake or "milk" name - something very undesirable, such as "mud-face" or "excerement" that is meant to disgust evil spirits and trick them to stay away from the child. These names may stay with children throughout childhood and beyond to protect them from evil spirits. On the heels of the many childbirth practices they follow, the Chinese believe that each child is unique and should carry an individual moniker; however this is becoming increasingly difficult for them to follow as the most populous country in the world." What do a name and an egg have to do with each other? If you're in China you might be invited to a Red Egg and Ginger, baby-naming party - a celebration held after the baby's first month of life. Since infant mortality is relatively high, it is felt if the child survives the first month of life, he will be okay. The egg, considered a delicacy in ancient China, represents fertility and is dyed the color of red for good luck. At the ceremonial feast, the baby's head is shaved and gifts are presented to the new life. The girls head is shaved before the image of "Mother", the Goddess of Children, and the boy head is shaved before the ancestral table. The symbolism of this practice is not entirely known, but it is speculated that this is the removing of the birth hair, to mark the point of the child's independent existence. Today, many Asian grandparents believe that shaving the girls' head at birth is a way to encourage the growth of long, lustrous hair although this practice isn't usually done during Asian American celebrations today. Guests attending red egg and ginger parties can bring gifts of clothing or "lucky money" in red envelopes. Lysee or "lucky money" in red envelopes is often given to baby boys, while girls may receive jewelry by close relatives. Guests receive red-dyed eggs and ginger at the party. Additionally, instead of sending thank you cards to the guests, more traditional parents may send thank you gifts consisting of small round biscuits with pork in them. More modern Chinese families use brightly colored eggs as party favors at their adapted ceremonies. Superstitious as they are, the Chinese wouldn't dare name a child before he is born! Instead they will give him a fake or "milk" name - something very undesirable, such as "mud-face" or "excrement" that is meant to disgust evil spirits and trick them to stay away from the child. These names may stay with children throughout childhood and beyond to protect them from evil spirits. On the heels of the many childbirth practices they follow, the Chinese believe that each child is unique and should carry an individual moniker; however this is becoming increasingly difficult for them to follow as the most populous country in the world."

One Child Policy

China experienced some major political, economic, and social upheaval between the late 50's and 70's, including the failed Great Leap Forward (1957-60), Mao Zedong's utopian idea to bring Communism to China overnight. However, the economic and political turmoil never slowed down the rapid growth of the Chinese population. Mao Zedong's advocacy for a high birthrate and larger population added almost 300 million more people between 1949 and 1976, the year Mao died. By 1978, when the new leadership came to power, the Chinese economy had come to near collapse. Blaming the population explosion as the key obstacle to economic recovery, the government decided to adopt an extreme family planning policy called the One-Child Policy (OCP), backed by serious punishment for offenders. It is safe to say that the OCP has successfully contained the critical population explosion in China and contributed to the Chinese economic recovery, but it has also brought out some of the worst and most extreme facets of a thousand-year-old tradition of female discrimination- female abandonment.Valuing males over females is deeply rooted in the Chinese culture. In a country where agriculture plays a supremely important role in society, such fundamental responsibilities like labor for farming, inheriting the family's land, continuation of the family name, and care-taking of the elderly are regarded as the essential duties of a man. The fact that a girl cannot inherit her family's name, will be married off into her husband's family, and is "unfit" for tedious farm labor, renders her worth less than a man's worth in traditional Chinese society. Until the mid-twentieth century, girls were deemed unworthy of receiving formal education, venturing into society, becoming involved in politics, or conducting business.While many reasons exist for female discrimination in China, carrying on the family's last name may be the primary one. Unlike the USA, where families' last names are diverse and countless, there are only about one hundred commonly-used family names in a country of 1.3 billion. Chinese put the family name first, while westerners keep the family name last. If a family does not have a boy to inherit their family's name, it is equal to discontinuing the family existence. Nonetheless, before the 1970's, gender discrimination, no matter how powerful it had been throughout Chinese history, had never led to large-scale female abandonment. Traditional Chinese families have always loved to have multiple children, as having both boys and girls is considered "good fortune". It was not until the One-Child Policy came into effect in 1978 that Chinese families, especially families living in the countryside, were forced to make the impossible decision, i.e., to abandon the first or second baby girl to try for a boy. With no concrete action or prosecution toward the crime of abandonment and death of countless female infants, it is hard to believe that China and the OCP have never been challenged until recent years. What is important to know is that the majority of pregnant women receive good, albeit Western pre-natal care, as it is their hope to give birth to a healthy son. Despite this, it is hard to imagine what goes through the birthmother's head while pregnant. Bear in mind that these rules may sound unspeakable to our western beliefs, however, it is these same beliefs that will help me bring my daughter home. However there is a feeling of sadness that one mother must suffer so the other can rejoice.

March Madness

Well here it is another month and I am getting closer to the end of the paper chase. I had my FBI prints taken 2 weeks ago and am waiting for the clearance . Once I have it, I can finally submit my dossier to my agency who will walk it in to the CCAA in Beijing. Then my part is done and I have to simply wait. I refer to it as being "paper pregnant" especially since the current time frame is about 9 months, whereas when I began the process in October it was 6 months. Once I am DTC I have a variety of projects to keep me busy including checking into daycare, finding a pediatrician and getting myself properly immunized for the trip as recommended by the Center for Disease Control. As of now it looks like I will need the Hep B series, Hep A series, Tetanus, Typhoid and I will likely add Cholera. Unfortunately the water is so bad you cannot even brush your teeth with it and must use bottled or boiled water. It's been an emotional day today as it is the second anniversary of my friend Eileen's death and December marked three years since Shannon died. It seems like he's around me at times and I know how happy he'd be if he were here to be "Uncle Shandu". Another recent thing has been sharing the adoption with someone who has become very special in my life. Days like this I feel truly blessed to have family and friends who truly support my decision and are as excited as I am. I love you all!